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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Engelina28Female/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Feeling discarded by Engelina28 Feeling discarded :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 2 The world beyond by Engelina28 The world beyond :iconengelina28:Engelina28 5 1 Reading by Engelina28 Reading :iconengelina28:Engelina28 9 0 Calliphoridae fly by Engelina28 Calliphoridae fly :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0 Spider on Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Spider on Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 2 0 Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 3 0 Hemerocallis Lola Branham by Engelina28 Hemerocallis Lola Branham :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0 Bee collecting pollen on Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Bee collecting pollen on Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Spider on Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Spider on Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Snail by Engelina28 Snail :iconengelina28:Engelina28 2 0 Verbena Bonariensis by Engelina28 Verbena Bonariensis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 3 0 Purple flower with bee by Engelina28 Purple flower with bee :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0 Spider by Engelina28 Spider :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Purple flower by Engelina28 Purple flower :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Bee by Engelina28 Bee :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Almost blooming by Engelina28 Almost blooming :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0

Random Favourites

fog-mist brushes by miss69-stock fog-mist brushes :iconmiss69-stock:miss69-stock 752 498 in a box 3 by AttempteStock in a box 3 :iconattemptestock:AttempteStock 267 96 Light Beams + Rays Photoshop and GIMP Brushes by redheadstock Light Beams + Rays Photoshop and GIMP Brushes :iconredheadstock:redheadstock 9,143 4,084 Ischarm Moon Brushes 001 by ischarm-stock Ischarm Moon Brushes 001 :iconischarm-stock:ischarm-stock 2,134 762 Tia -  model stock reference 40 by faestock Tia - model stock reference 40 :iconfaestock:faestock 216 6 Premade BK Stock 131 by FairieGoodMother Premade BK Stock 131 :iconfairiegoodmother:FairieGoodMother 455 101 Branched Entrance by BrokenWing3dStock Branched Entrance :iconbrokenwing3dstock:BrokenWing3dStock 601 70 Branch Frame with Ivy by BrokenWing3dStock Branch Frame with Ivy :iconbrokenwing3dstock:BrokenWing3dStock 808 92 Island Retreat 03 RESTRICTED by Elandria Island Retreat 03 RESTRICTED :iconelandria:Elandria 101 15 Juliet - stock reference 18 by faestock Juliet - stock reference 18 :iconfaestock:faestock 88 9 Barriere chemin by Jean52 Barriere chemin :iconjean52:Jean52 305 62 Walkway PNG by Jean52 Walkway PNG :iconjean52:Jean52 365 66 Clouds by coldhunter Clouds :iconcoldhunter:coldhunter 639 306 The Haunted House by TwilitesMuse The Haunted House :icontwilitesmuse:TwilitesMuse 369 51 Foggy 1 by TwilitesMuse Foggy 1 :icontwilitesmuse:TwilitesMuse 628 84 Foggy 3 by TwilitesMuse Foggy 3 :icontwilitesmuse:TwilitesMuse 134 24

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Activity


My nightmare by Engelina28

The stalker story behind "My Nightmare"


Somewhere at the beginning of 2013 I registered on a site. I had so much fun in there and made a lot of new friends. December 2013 I got a personal message from a member. M. was such a kind guy and we started talking through personal messages. We talked every day and it was like he was completely understanding me. I started writing in a topic he requested me to write and there I found new friends. Gradually I started talking less and less with my old friends. All the while M. and I talked through personal messages every day. M. did not like that I talked to some male friends, so I stopped talking to them. M. was saying things that sometimes did not add up and in the back of my head there was this voice telling me that there was something really wrong. But how could there be something wrong when I had such a good friend who was always there for me. He was even giving a +1 on every post I made on the forums and on profiles. My reputation points were growing very fast.

In June 2014 I started to feel more and more that there was something wrong. It was like he was checking everything I did online and comment about it afterwards through pm. Also I lost more and more friends because he did not like me talking to males. He became so pushy, time consuming and I felt like he was stalking me all over the site. And the questions he asked… I just could not refuse him to give him info and pictures. If I did he would just keep pushing through personal messages until I told him or send the picture. July 2014 I self deleted. 

After a week I decided to come back because I missed my friends and a moderator helped me get my account back. M. was so extremely angry at me. He kept jelling at me for days. Stating that he never wanted to see “self delete” on my profile again and demanding to give my email address so he could contact me outside of the site too. So I eventually gave him my email address when he kept pressuring me. I did not want him to be angry at me. I wanted my friend back and no more angry messages.

September or October 2014 he wanted me to become chairwoman of a thread. He kept pushing me, saying that without my help the community would die and I suspect he also messaged users from the community to vote on me so I became chairwoman as he wanted. All the while he kept messaging me. Telling me exactly how I should run the thread, who I should talk to and what I should say. He was even telling me when to come online. And when I asked questions like where he worked, how old he was etc. he did not want to answer me. I had to tell him everything and he just would not tell me anything about himself. He did send me 3 pictures of himself, but I now doubt it were his actual pictures.

After that things were going more downhill. Some mornings I would come online and it turned out he had been going through my activities on that site again. Pages and pages of +1 on my reputation tab from him and comments about what I had done wrong according to him or who I should not talk to anymore. And his messages became more and more pushy. At other times he could be the nice and kind guy that I had met  December 2013. He told me to do or say things I did not want to, but he kept pushing me until I did what he said and I would see the nice and kind guy from December 2013 back.

Christmas 2014 I was going on vacation with my family. I did not dare to tell him as I knew he would become very angry that I would be gone for a week without contact. So I told him 2 days before we went. Again he got so angry at me! And when I got back he told me it was all my fault that the activity in the community had almost died out because I had gone on vacation.  He was angry at me until New Year’s Eve. Then he stayed up all night with me talking until after 1 AM like we did when we first met. My old friend seemed to be back. 

But that was only one evening. After that he became moodier and angrier. He even started to say what I should wear, when I should be online and meddling in my personal life in other ways. I did not want this! He was suffocating and scaring me. Why did he make me promise time after time that I would let him in my house when he would be at the door. Asking for my promise several times a day and saying I could not go back on my promise once he arrived. But I did not want him at my house and most definitely not in my house!

I started to get online less and less. Using being busy at work as an excuse. He was so angry at me all the time and I was so scared. At the end of January 2015 he was tired of my coming online less. He kept pushing me to come online more and telling me which times to be there. I tried to go against him by telling him I could not, but he got angrier and angrier. I hardly ate anymore, had nightmares of him showing up at my house and lived in fear.

Then I made a big mistake. On Valentine’s day I posted an image with hearts on the profiles of several male users. When he discovered he went berserk. Never had I seen him so angry! I could not take it anymore and want out. I did not want to live this way anymore. So I send him a message. Saying goodbye and that I was never going to talk to him again. Then I blocked him. That was when the emails started. He send me over 100 in just a few hours. Telling me I was killing him. That he could not live without me and that he loved me. I replied by saying leave me alone and after that not answering anymore.

A moderator wanted to help me and asked if he could talk to M., but I was so scared! What would happen if M. was confronted? Would he blackmail me, tell everything about me to the site staff and wouldn’t staff think that I was to blame for the entire situation. Such a nice and popular guy and I was accusing him of stalking? Who would believe a nobody? So I self deleted and left the site.

It took me years to not look over my shoulder and for my nightmares to stop. But it still affects me until this day.

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My nightmare by Engelina28

The stalker story behind "My Nightmare"


Somewhere at the beginning of 2013 I registered on a site. I had so much fun in there and made a lot of new friends. December 2013 I got a personal message from a member. M. was such a kind guy and we started talking through personal messages. We talked every day and it was like he was completely understanding me. I started writing in a topic he requested me to write and there I found new friends. Gradually I started talking less and less with my old friends. All the while M. and I talked through personal messages every day. M. did not like that I talked to some male friends, so I stopped talking to them. M. was saying things that sometimes did not add up and in the back of my head there was this voice telling me that there was something really wrong. But how could there be something wrong when I had such a good friend who was always there for me. He was even giving a +1 on every post I made on the forums and on profiles. My reputation points were growing very fast.

In June 2014 I started to feel more and more that there was something wrong. It was like he was checking everything I did online and comment about it afterwards through pm. Also I lost more and more friends because he did not like me talking to males. He became so pushy, time consuming and I felt like he was stalking me all over the site. And the questions he asked… I just could not refuse him to give him info and pictures. If I did he would just keep pushing through personal messages until I told him or send the picture. July 2014 I self deleted. 

After a week I decided to come back because I missed my friends and a moderator helped me get my account back. M. was so extremely angry at me. He kept jelling at me for days. Stating that he never wanted to see “self delete” on my profile again and demanding to give my email address so he could contact me outside of the site too. So I eventually gave him my email address when he kept pressuring me. I did not want him to be angry at me. I wanted my friend back and no more angry messages.

September or October 2014 he wanted me to become chairwoman of a thread. He kept pushing me, saying that without my help the community would die and I suspect he also messaged users from the community to vote on me so I became chairwoman as he wanted. All the while he kept messaging me. Telling me exactly how I should run the thread, who I should talk to and what I should say. He was even telling me when to come online. And when I asked questions like where he worked, how old he was etc. he did not want to answer me. I had to tell him everything and he just would not tell me anything about himself. He did send me 3 pictures of himself, but I now doubt it were his actual pictures.

After that things were going more downhill. Some mornings I would come online and it turned out he had been going through my activities on that site again. Pages and pages of +1 on my reputation tab from him and comments about what I had done wrong according to him or who I should not talk to anymore. And his messages became more and more pushy. At other times he could be the nice and kind guy that I had met  December 2013. He told me to do or say things I did not want to, but he kept pushing me until I did what he said and I would see the nice and kind guy from December 2013 back.

Christmas 2014 I was going on vacation with my family. I did not dare to tell him as I knew he would become very angry that I would be gone for a week without contact. So I told him 2 days before we went. Again he got so angry at me! And when I got back he told me it was all my fault that the activity in the community had almost died out because I had gone on vacation.  He was angry at me until New Year’s Eve. Then he stayed up all night with me talking until after 1 AM like we did when we first met. My old friend seemed to be back. 

But that was only one evening. After that he became moodier and angrier. He even started to say what I should wear, when I should be online and meddling in my personal life in other ways. I did not want this! He was suffocating and scaring me. Why did he make me promise time after time that I would let him in my house when he would be at the door. Asking for my promise several times a day and saying I could not go back on my promise once he arrived. But I did not want him at my house and most definitely not in my house!

I started to get online less and less. Using being busy at work as an excuse. He was so angry at me all the time and I was so scared. At the end of January 2015 he was tired of my coming online less. He kept pushing me to come online more and telling me which times to be there. I tried to go against him by telling him I could not, but he got angrier and angrier. I hardly ate anymore, had nightmares of him showing up at my house and lived in fear.

Then I made a big mistake. On Valentine’s day I posted an image with hearts on the profiles of several male users. When he discovered he went berserk. Never had I seen him so angry! I could not take it anymore and want out. I did not want to live this way anymore. So I send him a message. Saying goodbye and that I was never going to talk to him again. Then I blocked him. That was when the emails started. He send me over 100 in just a few hours. Telling me I was killing him. That he could not live without me and that he loved me. I replied by saying leave me alone and after that not answering anymore.

A moderator wanted to help me and asked if he could talk to M., but I was so scared! What would happen if M. was confronted? Would he blackmail me, tell everything about me to the site staff and wouldn’t staff think that I was to blame for the entire situation. Such a nice and popular guy and I was accusing him of stalking? Who would believe a nobody? So I self deleted and left the site.

It took me years to not look over my shoulder and for my nightmares to stop. But it still affects me until this day.

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Engelina28

Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconliquid-timescape:
liquid-timescape Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018   General Artist
Hello dear, many thanks for the watch!🌺💕
Reply
:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks so much for the favorite! :love:
Reply
:iconfinangel:
FinAngel Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the watch!:hug:
Reply
:iconrajveer0908:
Rajveer0908 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Hey, thank you for the fav on 'Reign of night'
Means a lot <3
Reply
:icontap-photo-and-co:
Tap-Photo-and-Co Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Dank je wel voor de :+fav:
Reply
:icontinalouiseuk:
TinaLouiseUk Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanksfav by TinaLouiseUk  2863577b7gyj6lqd4 by TinaLouiseUk
Reply
:iconcalamitycassie:
CalamityCassie Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks again for the fav! Heart
It's wonderful to have someone who likes my work.
Reply
:iconsakurapotter:
sakurapotter Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2016
Thanks for the :+fav:
Reply
:iconashleyxbrooke:
AshleyxBrooke Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey there!  :icondawelcomewagon:

Welcome to Deviant Art :aww: hope you enjoy your time here :dummy: If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask :heart:

:bulletpink: Stop by the DAWelcomeWagon group or the #welcome chatroom to get started!
:bulletpink:Check out dAmnHub to get involved with chat events or just to find a chat that you'd be interested in being part of  :)
:bulletpink: Check out projecteducate to keep up with projects/events on Deviant Art
:bulletpink: Want to share your art with other deviants? Check out #ThumbHub and #CritiqueStation  



Prepare to become addicted :iconteheplz:

:gummybear:
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